Happy 4th of July! The day we celebrate our independence, the day dogs hate the most thanks to fireworks, and the day before we will hear stories about people who blew off various body parts or maybe lost an eye, fires that started because of a wayward bottle rocket, and people not getting arrested for having illegal fireworks.
Me, I do like a good fireworks display, and I remember being a little kid and being able to buy cooler fireworks, you know, the bottle rockets, roman candles, and larger rockets, in Ohio, that was as long as you signed a piece of paper that said you were going to take them out of state to shoot off. “Yea, that’s right. We’re taking them out of state.”
Fireworks rules are pretty stupid, now, I suppose, what with various states having them legal, others having them banned, others with the “taking them out of state” law, and people rarely being arrested or charged with having them, especially if they shoot them off near the 4th. Here in Chicago you hear of tons of stories of people hopping across the border to Indiana to places like Phantom Fireworks, Krazy Kaplans, and Uncle Sam’s, and every now and then the occasional story of Illinois police watching for people crossing the border to buy fireworks, then bringing them back to Illinois, only to have their 4th of July celebration ruined by the police sting.
Sure, you can buy some cheesy fireworks at the local store most of the time. You know the kind, the black block that turns into a snake, the lame sparkler that is two inches long instead of the ones that are about two feet, and the things that spins around like a flying saucer, but there is something rebellious about shooting off fireworks you aren’t supposed to, and I suppose for this 4th of July I just suggest you all be safe out there, and don’t look down the tube of a firework that didn’t go off.
But for this plight, as we’re getting ready to put Milo’s Thundershirt for the day, I wonder: Do you shoot off fireworks that are illegal where you live?
That’s it for this plight! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!