By:
The Dude on the Right
With my new TiVo, and now that I have, hopefully, most of the TV recording
options I should need, I have to now readjust how I actually watch TV to make it
more efficient, as well as get shit done. I realized these things
yesterday during the premier of "Dancing With the Stars" and the almost finale
of "Rockstar: Supernova," especially when my main computer’s UPS decided to take
a crap and I tried to figure our how to get my PC up and running again (you
never have enough three-prong extension cords when you need them), yet still
watching TV shows, when I could have put off the latter, especially since I HAVE
MY NEW TIVO. I’m such an idiot sometimes. The important thing I
forgot is the ease, if you are watching a recorded show, to skip the commercials
(sorry advertisers). As such I was finding myself still switching between
shows during the commercials, then getting wrapped up into one show, then
another, and missing stuff. I make my life so complicated sometimes, and
I’m working on getting my new TV viewing schedules straight, but now I’ve
complicated my head even a little more, thanks, to of all things, a movie called
"Artie
Lange’s Beer League," starring, well,
Artie Lange, a
movie I was looking forward to seeing, hopefully in the theater.
How can a movie create a dilemma and make my life complicated? It’s
because I’m mental I tell you. Here’s the deal. "Beer League" is a
smaller budget movie, opening this coming weekend in only three cities – New
York, Philadelphia, and Cleveland. Sure, you might say "What the hell kind
of limited release is that? I get New York City, but Philadelphia and
Cleveland?" The movie studio, and I guess Artie and his people, figured
that these are markets that strongly support Artie Lange and could give the
movie a strong opening, especially in terms of dollars per screening. So,
"Beer League" doesn’t open at a Chicago movie house, at least right now, which
would take me, tops, and hour-ish to get to. In any case, if I want to see
the movie this weekend I either have to hop on a plane to Philly and hope our
character artist, Archie Tect, could pick me up at the airport and get me to the
movie on time, or drive some 360 miles to see the movie scheduled to play at a
movie theater some 15 minutes from my parents’ house. Here-in lies my
dilemma (and Mom, if you are reading this, I apologize to you right now).
For
a couple of minutes I thought of making this Saturday a day trip to Ohio, to, of
all things, see "Beer League." Fine, I’m crazy like that. As it
shows right now, there is a 2:30 afternoon showing that would work into the
planning. I would leave early on Saturday morning, getting into the area
around 1PM, giving me a cushion if the Ohio drivers still haven’t learned how to
drive on a three-lane highway. I could catch the movie, it would end
around 4PM. Two choices: Stopping in to see the parents before the
movie if traffic is light, maybe catching some lunch before the movie;
Stopping in to see the parents after the movie and then heading back to my
dude-pad after maybe catching an early dinner. Sounds simple enough, and I
know my parents would like to see me, and maybe not so much my Dad, but Mom
would think I was nuts, for driving 6 hours to see a movie, spend more time with
Artie Lange on a screen than with her at home, and then heading back to my
dude-pad back in Illinois the same day. Mothers don’t always understand
wacky behavior, and she really doesn’t like me driving at night.
Thankfully for me, and maybe
sadly for my Mom, I think, at least right now, that rationality has set in,
thanks to seeing one of those MasterCard commercials. It sort of turned
into this for a one-day trip to Ohio to see "Artie Lange’s Beer League.":
Ohio, Indiana, and Illinois Tollway/Turnpike fees: $17.80
Fuel for 720 miles on the road:
$95.00
Food:
$15.00
Movie ticket:
$ 7.00
——-
Cost to see Beer League:
$134.80
Price to hear my Mom say I spent $135
to see Artie Lange instead of her:
Not worth: $135.00
Sorry Artie, I guess I have to hope your film does well
enough in New York, Philly, and the home of the Michael Stanley Band, so that it
opens a little wider, or I’ll at least get the DVD, because I can’t justify
$135.00 to see your movie, especially when it will incur the guilt of Mom.
Being of Catholic upbringing, I think you understand.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!