Who Knew Bon Jovi Songs Were So Complicated to Sing?

By:

The Dude on the Right

Bon Jovi is in the house, Dog!

I’ve always been a Bon Jovi fan, and as many a
time I’ve attempted to sing his songs, well, my voice can’t seem to do the stuff
his voice does, and after watching tonight’s "American Idol," neither can most
of our contestants.  I will give Jon Bon Jovi his credit, trying his best
to coach our would-be singers and some of them really took his advice, while
some of them, whether they would take his advice or not, still couldn’t pull off
singing Bon Jovi songs.

Anyway, all of the Idol singers were safe last week
because American Idol became lame by not voting anyone off because it was their
big "philanthropy" week, so Wednesday boots off two people.  For what it’s
worth the American Idol folks should just go ahead and kick off five people and
leave us with Melinda for the rest of the season.  She seems to be the only
one who really seem to know how to work it.

Here’s my take on this week’s
singing…

Phil: Sings "Blaze of Glory." Sang the song okay, but just
looks to be "acting" the song too much, with the gritty, pissed-off face and
all.  Overly emotional and still has a horrible look with the bald look.

Jordin: Sings "Livin’ on a Prayer." Looks like she wanted to pay tribute
to Gina with the red streaks in her hair.  Song wise it was okay, but she’s
not working the stage like a rocker needs to.  Her mom might have had her
listening to Bon Jovi, but she sure didn’t translate the performance aspect into
her act.  She picked the wrong song.

LeKisha: Sings "This Ain’t a
Love Song." A good song choice for her, but she just seemed to be off the beat
for the beginning.  Her outfit was bad, and she didn’t sing with nearly the
passion Jon Bon Jovi did for the Bon Jovi version until the very end of the
song.  It must have sounded a hell of a lot better live because the judges
loved it, but for me it, well, it wasn’t that good.

Blake: Sings "You
Give Love a Bad Name." I know he’s trying to be original and all, but what, are
we back in the era of bad break dancing?  He couldn’t sing the song, his
antics blew, and maybe I’m just too old, or too big a Bon Jovi fan, but I did
not like this at all.  Randy thought it was hot, but what, for the ’80’s?

Chris: Sings "Wanted Dead or Alive." Of everyone, Chris seemed, so far,
to get the "Bon Jovi" theme.  His singing wasn’t the greatest, my only
complaint is he didn’t work the crowd as much as he probably should have.


Melinda:
Sings "Have a Nice Day." Jon told her exactly what to do with the
song, and Melinda did it perfectly.  She pretty much wrapped up this
competition with being able to take Bon Jovi’s rocking into a soul attitude. 
She was fantastic.

For me you might as well kick out everyone but Melinda. 
It looks like she’s lost some weight, she still sings great, and she seems to
get the attitude of every genre.  As far as the "American Idol," the show,
I am this close to calling it quits for them, especially with their
self-righteous "We’re now a charity" thing last week, and now trotting out a
pre-recorded speech from President Bush and Laura Bush about how great it was
they raised so much money to help starving people.

Enough already. 
"American Idol," you are a god damn singing competition, making a shitload of
money.  Quit with the politics and do-gooding, and just give us a singer we
can like.

I’ll step off my soap-box now, and say Melinda should be the winner. 
And I’ll also say that Ryan Seacrest you are no Don Johnson – Shave the
"7-day" facial hair.

That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!