By:
The Dude on the Right
At least Jennifer Lopez seems to be giving some of the singers some real advice
this week, although it appears none of the contestants, except maybe Sanjaya,
actually took it. Maybe the other “coaches” in previous weeks gave just as much
advice, but with one more contestant gone it gave J Lo more screen time. Here’s
my rundown of the contestants…
Melinda: Sings “Sway.” Since we all know she can sing, unless she
forgets words or falls on her face, it’s about looks. The giant smile with the
upper gum is still a bad look, the hair makes her look old, not 20 years old –
50 years old. Keep it hip girl.
LeKisha: Sings “Conga.” Most camera shots were far away, or
highlighting the band, because, and since we know she can sing, she looked
stuffed into that dress. Like Melinda she sounded fine, but superficiality will
be her downfall right now.
Chris: Sings “Smooth,” the Rob Thomas/Santana version. He’s still
singing too low for the song most people recognize, and I’ve met Rob Thomas,
even though it was a bunch of years ago – and Chris is no Rob Thomas. Maybe
Paula really needs to see Rob Thomas to sing it to her because she seemed to like Chris.
Haley: Sings “Turn the Beat Around.” Nice shorts but needs less up
top. She sings okay but needed to practice some Shakira “moves” to maybe get her
to the next round, especially for this song. Simon knows the score, and if she
would only embrace it she could actually win. She’s practicing the wrong things,
like singing.
Phil: Sings “Maria.” He’s got a hat back on, but all of us already are
stuck with his bald head in our heads. He’s trying to be a Latin singer, but he
doesn’t have the machismo to pull it off, and his voice is cracking in a lot of
places. Please let him go ahead of Haley.
Jordin: Sings “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You.” Why is it that none of
these folks seem to understand Latin music? It’s singing combined with body
movement and emotion. Jordin still looks a little chubbier than I remember, even
though her singing is good. She’s just not working it with her body.
Blake: Sings “I Need to Know.” Nice hat. He epitomizes the white guy
dance. The song exudes sex, and he, well, doesn’t. Maybe it was better live, but
on TV he sucked for me.
Sanjaya: Sings a Spanish song that I don’t know that the title is. Oh
my God, I hate to say this, but of all of the singers he understood the “Latin”
theme and nailed it.
Performance-wise, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Sanjaya actually
got the theme of the night, while most of the others sucked. Sure, they can
sing, but we are starting to see most of them don’t know how to perform. In a
shocker I can see LeKisha getting the boot, but is should probably be Haley or
Phil who get the boot. I’m hoping Phil gets booted, and that Haley wears a
little less next week!
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!!