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The Animal
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Rob Schneider, Colleen Haskell,
Ed Asner |
| MPAA Rated: |
PG-13 |
| Released By: |
Columbia
Pictures |
| Kiddie Movie: |
Not too young. |
| Date Movie: |
Let her go see
"Moulin
Rouge." |
| Gratuitous Sex: |
The movie set was a little cold
at times, but that's about it. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
Nah. |
| Action: |
Nah. |
| Laughs: |
Toilet humor mostly. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
None. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
"Is it true you can smell
what's up people's butts?" |
| Directed By: |
Luke Greenfield |
| Produced By: |
Adam Sandler, Jack Giarraputo |
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The Animal
A Movie Review |
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I hate to sort of bash a movie when the kids that were
leaving seemed to enjoy it so much, but I just thought "The
Animal" could have been a much more funny movie if it were
geared towards the younger-youngins rather than the just getting to
the puberty-youngins. Sure, it had the toilet humor you might
expect, and sure it had Colleen Haskell, the little cutie from the
first Survivor, and sure it had a fun cameo by Norm MacDonald and
Adam Sandler, but I think it just missed its calling.
Rob Schneider plays Marvin Mange. Basically he’s a loser stuck
as a clerk in the police evidence room. His dad was a great cop and
his dream is to become a great cop like his dad. The problem is that
he has neither the instincts nor the aptitude to be a cop. One day
his car careens off a cliff and Marvin is next to death. Well,
Marvin is rescued by a cooky doctor (Michael Caton) who saves Marvin
by replacing his body parts with animal organs. As miraculous as
that is, well, it only takes a week for Marvin to recuperate and he’s
back on the job unaware of his surgery except that he begins to
notice some changes in his actions, you know, things like being able
to sniff out drugs, run faster than a horse, dry himself off without
a towel, and unless he doesn’t shower I’m sure the had to have
noticed the excessive hair on his butt.
While getting his shot on the police force by catching the drug
smuggler in the airport, well, Marvin also begins seeing Riana
(Haskell) who is an animal and tree lover. There is also a couple of
other things that Marvin is noticing, namely his voracious appetite
for raw meat and his sexual urges. Finally Marvin hooks up with the
cooky doctor who tells him about his surgery and tries to help
Marvin deal with his urges. I think that’s enough of the story.
I had a couple of problems with the movie. One was that the jokes
basically relied on Marvin’s new-found sexual urges, even to the
point of him trying to get it on with a goat and him peeing to mark
out his territory, and the other was the stupid sub-plot of Marvin’s
friend Miles (Guy Torry), a black guy who thinks he is just getting
special treatment because white people feel bad his ancestors were
slaves. Not that they weren’t funny at times, and other times they
just seemed stupid, but for a movie that could have really been
great for kids, well, they even made me a little uncomfortable.
I think they should have kept the movie clean, geared it more
towards the fun things Marvin could do now that he had animal
instincts and abilities, and just let it be a good family film.
Schneider did his best with what he had to work with and Colleen was
cute (although I think she’s too squinty), but the movie just went
for the cheap jokes instead of really trying to be creative.
Sometimes you get what you pay for or expect and for your
hard-earned dollar you get an hour and a quarter of jokes for
thirteen year old boys. I can appreciate those jokes as much as the
next guy, so I’ll give the movie 2 1/2 stars out of 5 for being
what I expected (actually, I’ll make that 3 stars for the scene
where the set must have been a little chilly), but in all honesty,
you should really just wait for this movie to hit cable.
That’s it for this one! I’m The Dude on the Right!! L8R!!! |
