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Blood and Wine
Movie Stats & Links |
| Starring: |
Jack Nicholson, Judy Davis, Jennifer Lopez, Stephen
Dorff, Michael Caine |
| MPAA Rated: |
R |
| Released By: |
Fox Searchlight |
| Kiddie Movie: |
Much less appropriate for kids than it is for dates. |
| Date Movie: |
Save the money and take her to a Steak and Shake instead.
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| Gratuitous Sex: |
One nipple would have rated this movie an additional half
star from me. |
| Gratuitous
Violence: |
I had a violent attitude after seeing this movie. |
| Action: |
Fights, car chases, all with a dash of salt. |
| Laughs: |
I sat in my seat laughing about how bad the movie was. |
| Memorable
Scene: |
Actually… The fact that the movie didn't slap a
happy romantic cliché ending was the only thing memorable
about this movie for me. |
| Memorable
Quote: |
"Baby, I'm gonna take you away from all this." Do real
people really say this while dancing the marimba in
lingerie? Not in my book. But then again this movie was
definitely not my type of book. |
| Directed By: |
Bob Rafelson
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| Produced By: |
Jeremy Thomas |
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Blood and Wine
A Movie Review |
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MPAA Rated - R |
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It's 1:40 Long |
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| A Review by |
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Stu Gotz |
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Have you ever made chicken soup? I'm not
talking about busting out a can of Campbell's but actually making it
from scratch? The recipe for chicken soup is pretty simple and hard
to mess up (although it can be done). By adding the right components,
at the right time, and in the right amounts, nine times out of ten
you wind up with a pretty basic soup. In time and with a little
practice one can even learn how to doctor up a basic chicken soup
recipe and make it into something totally kick-ass and far from
basic.
Did you know that Hollywood knows the secret to kick-ass chicken
soup and very often applies it to the recipe of making movies. A lot
of times the creation is supreme, but other times it's just plain old
broth. Such is the case of the new Jack Nicholson and Michael Cane
movie "Blood & Wine."
This movie reminded me of my Jeep on a cold winter's day - it just
didn't want to start. But back to the soup comparison. Like waiting
for that pot of water to boil, this movie seemed to take forever to
build to something exciting. After the water did get boiling the
writers added some good stock in the way of bad guy characters in
Alex Gates (Nicholson) and Victor Spansky (Cane). Lots of potential
here. Later came a little salt which reviled the plot to a jewel
heist. To spice things up a bit some salsa was added in the way of
Gabriella (Jennifer Lopez - hubba-hubba, what a babe) who portrayed a
Latin love interest. For good measure the writers even threw in a
little sour lemon as a way to potentially spoil a perfect crime.
They followed the recipe, and even tried to add something special,
so why was it that this movie was so bad? I think it's because I've
been fed chicken broth, stew, casserole, gumbo, and flambé all
my life. I'm tired of that recipe and its deviations. What I want is
something new, and this movie is not new. Actually, to be fair, the
movie should actually get acclaim for being a perfect example of a
"Hollywood Cook Book Movie," but for me it was like one of those old
Gum Shoe novels made for late night TV. Slow, boring, and
predictable. I really don't know whose ass I wanted to kick more
after seeing the movie, Fox for releasing it or the Dude on the Right
for making me pay $4.50 to go see it. I cannot recommend this movie
to the everyday kind of guy, but if you're a film student the
structure will appeal to you, and if you're a dorky Chicago film
critic it will appeal to you because you're an artsy horses ass that
has lost touch with the blue collar class people like me. Sorry Jack
but I can only give your movie 1 out of 5 stars. Please don't kick my
ass! Later… |
