Jonathon Brandmeier
Breakfast Broadcast
A Review |
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The Dude on the Right
Did you ever write a review that, well, just sucked. Well, I did. It
was my original review for the Jonathon Brandmeier Breakfast
Broadcast. I wrote it, I read it, and I said to myself, "Self,
that sucked." So, nobody gets to read that one but me, you get
this one, and it's about the Johnny B. Breakfast Broadcast that was
held on Wednesday, November 22nd. Yep, that's right, the Wednesday
before Thanksgiving.Johnny B., aka Jonathon Brandmeier, is a disc jockey, well, not
really a disc jockey because he doesn't play much music, but I guess
you could call him a radio personality in Chicago on a station
called The Loop - that's 97.9 on your FM dial if you're in
Chicago. He used to have the morning slot, then moved to afternoons
(and sort of L.A.), and then moved back to mornings (thank you God -
my prayers were answered - it's not that Kevin was bad, he just
wasn't Johnny). Anywho. He brought his morning radio showgram as he
calls it to a live breakfast broadcast at the Hyatt Regency in
downtown Chicago - a big ol' ballroom, with some couple of thousand
of his closest listeners. I was lucky enough to get a ticket, and
even bought a T-shirt to benefit the Chicago Anti-Hunger Federation
(it's a good cause - e-mail me if you want information on how to
donate and I'll find out for you.).
Along with Johnny B. was his entire morning crew, Buzz Kilman,
Robin (I have no idea how to spell her last name), Arti, engineers,
and many of the people his fans have only been able to hear on the
radio and have no proof they actually exist. Well, they do, I was
there, and this is kinda who they were.
Leading off the show, even before Johnny B. came out, was a
Pakistani named Piranha Man. He led off the morning (good Lord, I
couldn't believe I actually made it up that early to take the drive
to the show, although, that early there is absolutely no traffic on
the road, but, I digress - sorry) with a Thanksgiving blessing which
led the crowd into the ballroom.
Included in the group of people, acts, or slight lunatics if you
will call them, was a dizzying array of people. There was the Happy
Schnapps Combo - a polka band from Wisconsin with a song called
"The Bears Still Suck." Although they might, the Bears
that is, the band was still a blast as a polka band and I hope when
I get married I can get them to play my reception because I'm sure
my relatives will love them. There was also this guy called Mr.
Impression. I think it's kinda impossible to describe this guy but
to say he does a stand-up comedy act, well, based on a broom family.
Relating radio to text isn't easy, but it's kinda like "This is
Mr. Broooooommmmm. He's SSSSSSMMMMMOOOOOOOTTTHHHHHH!" He has an
entire act based on brooms, but to the disappointment of the crowd,
Mr. Impression just couldn't seem to pull it together for the masses
this morning. It's too bad because I for one was looking forward to
the entire broom act.
Moving right along was the eating contest between a 230 pound man
from Wisconsin and a 450 pound man from Illinois. No holds barred,
and a whole lot of hamburgers later, the Wisconsin guy, I believe
his name is something like Peter Kapiski, won. Judged by the
"Trust Her She's a Lawyer" dudette, I had to believe the
ruling, and actually seeing the "Trust Her She's a Lawyer"
dudette, I have to really find something I can do so she can
represent me in court (Hubba, Hubba!). And the morning went on.
When Kenny Davis Jr. took the stage, Johnny introduced him as a
Sammy Davis Jr. impersonator. Little did I know that this guy had a
voice that would blow the house down. "I Gotta Be Me" and
"The Candy Man" brought the crowd to a level higher than
all of the beers they had drank (is drank a word?), had them singing
along, and just, for no better way to put it, impressed me. But
there was more - like the moving, well not maybe moving but
interesting, well, maybe not really interesting, but she had the
guts to do it, version of "Blue Moon" by the tallest lady
in the world, Sandy Allen. Wow, she really was tall. 'Nuff said.
Then of course there was Lee Rocker and Big Blue (I think that's
right). Lee Rocker is the slap bass dude from the Stray Cats and I
will just say that he and his new band kick butt. It's too bad this
alternative stuff with three chords (alright, that's a slam, hey,
some of it is really good, but I love seeing musicians play
instruments that in their truest form don't need an amp) takes over
the airwaves when musical talent goes un-noticed. They even brought
up the Black Lone Ranger (a blues dude) up on stage with Buzz Kilman
on the harp for a moving blues tune. The Black Lone Ranger was
great, and with a back-up band like he had maybe they all should go
on tour.
But the morning wasn't over yet. There was still the King of TV
Trivia and his medley to some of the greatest TV theme songs that,
scary enough, had the crowd singing every word. And I won't forget
the last act, or group as they might be, called 78 Cents. Why you
may ask? Well, that's the amount of money they made singing their
first day on the streets of Chicago.
Some observant person noticed that they, along with other street
musicians, are actually really talented, and recorded an album
called "Street Dreams." Anyway, these guys are great.
Acapella, well, they had a tambourine, they had harmonies and
melodies to show that talent can be found anywhere - even from those
seemingly begging on the streets. Buy the CD, it's great and a
surprise.
But, and those who listened are saying "Hey, Dude on the
Right, what about the Coroner?" Well, they're right. Who
brought the best response? Well, it was the Coroner from the Wizard
of Oz. Yup, 80 years old plus, Meinheart Robby (alright - I probably
mis-spelled the name) stole the show. Bringing a standing ovation, a
little fireball of energy, this height challenged (I hate being
politically correct) actor showed that class goes through the ages.
Even when he proclaimed his saying "she is truly dead" on
a dudette from the audience with nice hooters (hey, Johnny said it -
not me), it showed something, although I'm not sure what.
In the end, Johnny B. showed that he still knows how to work his
crowd. From serving coffee to moshing with the audience to the band
Lithium (a Nirvana tribute band), he worked the morning for all it
was worth. He kept a little spontaneity, a little stupidity, and a
lot of class to a morning show that still remains fresh through the
years.
Now you're saying to yourself, "There had to be something
wrong?" Well, there were some technical glitches that probably
should have been worked out the night before, and, alright, I did
see Buzz steal a hamburger after the eating contest was done, but, I
would say the only problem was that there was no entertainment for
the crowd during the commercials on the radio. It was kinda like
sitting at a football game during the national commercial break as
you sit there waiting for the action to start again. With this, I
guess my only suggestion to Johnny B. is to use his "house
band" to fill in the gaps for the audience not listening on
radio. I guess that's hard to explain, but I think you get the
point.
Alright, that's getting a little too serious, kinda like the last
review I wrote about this crazy thing in the morning. Let me say
that the broadcast was great, and I'm glad Johnny B. is back in the
mornings. I had fun, and judging from the number of beer bottles on
the tables by 10:00 AM, I think most of the crowd did too. Hell,
what better way to start a long weekend than by waking up way early
in the morning, drinking before noon, and knowing that you don't
have to go to work for four days. It was great.
In case you didn't guess by this long-winded article, Johnny B.'s
Breakfast Broadcast gets TWO HUGEMOUNGOUS THUMBS UP from this
reviewer. My real partner, well, he couldn't make it, but the other
friend I took had fun too. The crowd loved it, Johnny B. still knows
how to put on a show, and it was the day before Thanksgiving - what
could be better?
A little different, a radio review, a little long, too bad, but
until next time, Party Smart, and as always, Rellim Reeb, Rellim
Reeb!!!! |